Love Does Humility
January 2, 2019
In 1964 in Ypsilanti, Michigan, there was not just one Jesus Christ. There weren’t two. In 1964 in Ypsilanti, Michigan, there were no fewer than three Jesus Christs. All three were residents at the psychiatric ward of the local hospital. Their real names were Leon, Joseph and Clyde. All three suffered from psychotic delusional disorder. All three claimed to be Jesus. And all were patients of psychologist Milton Rokeach, who wrote, “The Three Christs of Ypsilanti”about his experience with these would-be messiahs.
Rokeach labored for two years with these men, trying to break reality in on their delusions. It was a tough go, almost barren of progress. Finally, Rokeach decided to try a risky experiment: He put Leon, Joseph and Clyde together. They slept, beds side by side, in the same room. They ate meals at the same table. They were assigned shared tasks. And everyday they met together for group therapy.
In the end the experiment failed. Leon, Joseph and Clyde were each so convinced that the were miserable, so affronted by the others’ claims to that status, so terrified by the prospect of themselves being merely ordinary, that no amount of contrary evidence, no amount of air tight reasoning, no amount of impassioned pleading could dislodge their delusions. There were some minor breakthroughs. Leon, who had claimed he was married to the Virgin Mary, finally admitted the woman was only his sister-in-law. But the breakthroughs didn’t amount to much and didn’t last long. What endured was the messiah complex. In one group discussion one of the men announced, “I’m the messiah, the Son of God. I am on a mission. I was sent to save the earth.”
“How do you know?” Rokeach asked.
“God told me.”
Then one of the other men shot back, “I never told you any such thing.” This story is funny and yet sad; because we all fall prey to the messiah complex to some degree. We think: “It all depends on me.” “I’m the only one who has what it takes.” “I’m the only one who knows what we should do.” This way of thinking has many names. Some call it pride, haughtiness or arrogance. But one thing’s for sure when we get like this – when we are full of ourselves… we cannot love!
Have you ever been full of yourself? Ever thought yourself indispensible? Have you ever been asked to do something that you felt was beneath you? If so, you’ve struggled with pride. For us guys it may be as simple as “never stopping to ask for directions,” or using “every excuse in the books to cover our tracks when we mess up, never admitting it we blew it.” But for most of us, it’s just the attitude of thinking that we are somehow better or that we know better than another person. And when we start thinking that way OUR PRIDE not only keeps us from being loving, it makes us UNLOVING.
And yet, we are called to love the same way Jesus loved us. So we need to deal with what keeps us from loving. Pride is one of those things. So as we dive back into our series on LOVE from 1 Corinthians, we’re going to tackle our pride and look into God’s Word for the cure. Our text today deals with the last phrase of 1 Corinthians 13:4, Love is not proud. But before we unpack this reality, lets review where we’ve been:
Love Does Patience: Patient love has a long fuse with people who get under your skin. Patience stays long under the heat, and refuses to get angry with difficult people but waits as long as it takes for God to change them.
Love Does Kindness: Kindness does good to those who don’t deserve it. Kindness takes the initiative to get involved in the needs of others.
Love Does Not Envy: When we remove envy from our lives, we refuse to control our relationships, instead we celebrate people for who God created them to be. And the way we remove envy from our lives is by learning to be content with our lives.
So today love takes on our pride. If we’re going to love as Jesus loved us then we need to grasp what Paul said when he wrote: Love is not arrogant Here’s a simple definition: To be arrogant is to have an over-inflated view of your own importance.
Here is the Messiah complex full blown.Here is a person who sees himself or herself as superior to others because of their EXALTED POSITION. One could have this position because of their status– they’re the boss – they are in charge. One could have an exalted position because of their performance– they’re great at what they do. One could have this position because of their personality– they are on top because they’re the life of the party – everyone loves them, so they think they are super special. Or they can assume such a position because of their superior knowledge. Now, there is nothing wrong with being in a position of prominence. There are truly humble people who are CEOs, humble people who are great at what they do, and humble people who are beautiful and intelligent. But where arrogance comes in, is when you take all the credit for where you are at, and then consider others as beneath you. You have an over-inflated view of yourself, thinking you are somehow better than others And when you become consumed with your sense of self-importance, not only do you not love others, you can become unloving.
However, God’s love is never like this. God’s love doesn’t let status go to one’s head. A love that’s free of arrogance stays humble!In other words, LOVE DOES HUMILITY! In fact, Humility is central to every facet of love recorded in 1 Corinthians 13. Here’s how crucial humility is to loving:
The humble wait patiently, while the arrogant wants it now. The humble demonstrates kindness, while the arrogant doesn’t even notice need. The humble are content, while the arrogant feel they deserve more. The humble honors and esteems the other, while the arrogant brags on himself. The humble do not act unbecomingly, while the arrogant are rude. The humble shows a servant spirit, while the arrogant demand to be served. The humble are not easilyprovoked, while the arrogant are quick to take offense. The humble quickly forgive a wrong suffered, while the arrogant can’t rest until they even the score.
So it’s pretty clear that arrogance gets in the way of us loving like Jesus? So how shall we deal with our pride? For starters, we need to recognize that simply trusting in Jesus will not exempt you from being infected by a prideful spirit. You might say pride works into our attitudes like a virus. It’s subtle. But it can eventually take hold in us and render us unloving. So how does the spirit of arrogance infect us?
1.Through success We go to school, get a good education and master a skill or a field of study. Then we apply what we have learned, work hard, learn some more, take risks, make sacrifices and then comes the pay off: we become a success– we get recognized for our hard work, our business savvy, our sacrifices – and so we earn raises, promotions – and our peers begin to look to us for advice, we get awards and even local, regional or national recognition. And at some point along the way, WE START TAKING THE CREDIT for our success. We celebrate our success and we begin to say things like, “I deserve this.” “I worked hard for this.” And we forget or refuse to give credit to those who helped us and especially to HIM who GAVE US the ability to become a success. We take glory for ourselves and refuse to acknowledge our dependency on God. Any success can make us proud. So being successful has the potential to give us an over-inflated view of ourselves… but it doesn’t have to.
Now, here’s another way arrogance can infect us is…
2. Through knowledge We all need knowledge. But just knowing stuff about God doesn’t make us more loving. In fact, in this letter to the Corinthians, Paul warns that Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.1 Corinthians 8:1 One of my own struggles with pride comes to play here. When you get the privilege of going to Seminary, the privilege of studying God’s Word and teaching others about God and following Christ, I can fool myself into thinking that I know God’s will better than others. I have been guilty of this. That’s simply a danger for every Pastor. My knowledge of God’s Will can actually get in the way of my living out God’s will. God’s will is that we love one another! So Paul is right when he writes in 1 Corinthians 13:2, If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. Knowledge of God’s Word or God’s will is worthless unless it helps me to love. We all need to know God’s Word, but it if knowing so much keeps us from loving, then pride has infected us.
Now, here’s a third way pride can stifle our love, and that is this: 3. Through religion Being religious can be very deceptive. You can begin to think you are better than others simply because you go to church, read your Bible and don’t do bad things. If you ever hear yourself saying something like,“I can’t believe she would do such a thing.” Or if you think too highly of yourself to associate with a person who drinks too much, sleeps around, or uses fowl language – you may be infected with a self-righteous spirit– thinking you are somehow better because you don’t do bad things. When you start comparing relationships based on behavior, you become a judge – not a lover. And my guess is this, we’ve all been guilty of this kind of pride at one time or another. So we need to be aware that any of us can become proud and unloving. In fact, Doctors, Cloud and Townsend call people infected with pride like this: “unsafe people.” Here’s how they describe those who think they’re all that: Unsafe people think they have it all together, they reveal no weaknesses.
Unsafe people are more religious and less real.
Unsafe people are self-righteous instead of humble – they always see themselves as good and others as bad.
Unsafe people don’t admit they have any problems.
Unsafe people treat otherswith a lack of empathy. They don’t take responsibility for their own lives and blame others for their own problems.
Whereas a safe person (a humble person) is quite the opposite:
A safe person accepts me just like I am
A safe person loves me no matter how I am or what I do
A safe person gives me the opportunity to grow
A safe person is someone I can be myself around
A safe person is someone who allows me to become the “me” God intended
A safe person is someone whose life touches my life and draws me closer to God
My guess is that none of us want to be labeled “unsafe people.” But in reality none of us are completely humble. We’re all tainted to some degree by this disease of pride.
So how do we cure ourselves? Well, the truth is, we can’t, but Jesus can. We are not the Messiah, He is. We are not the greatest in the kingdom – He is. So we must learn humility from Him – so in looking at Jesus we need to answer the question: How can I grow in humility? How can rid myself of the pride that keeps me from loving others? There are at least four ways. And the first is this:
1. Cultivate your identity at the foot of the cross At the foot of the cross no one is better than anyone else. Our sin makes us equals at the foot of the cross. It is here where our sin is forgiven. It’s here we see ourselves in relationship to a holy God and humility is born. When you spend time in the shadow of the cross, you are not looking down at anyone else, but looking up to the one who gave you mercy for your sin. That’s one of the reasons we regularly practice communion. It keeps us under the shadow of the cross. And when we stay in the shadow of the cross we become like the tax collector who stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God have mercy on me a sinner.’ Luke 18:13 We defeat pride at the cross of Jesus.
2. Admit your faults to God and to others Admit that you are not superior. Confess regularly to God your brokenness and sinfulness. Thank him for His mercy. Thank Him that He continues to love you when you blow it. Love without arrogance means we are willing to admit our own faults. Confess your failures to one another. Love without arrogance will say “I’m sorry” or “I guess I blew it.” The Bible encourages this: “Therefore, confess your sinsto each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”James 5:16 Confession of sin defeats pride. This is another reason why we want to help people learn to follow Jesus with others. When we isolate ourselves from those whom God wants us to love, He can’t transform us to love like Jesus. We need to be with others, and even blow it with others, so we can confess our sins, and they can forgive us ours. In that way, we can begin to show the world what Jesus was talking about when He said, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 Forgivenenss is at the heart of love.
3. Live to inflate God rather than yourself Pride ultimately takes one form and that is self-glorification. And when we do that, we rob God of His glory. Jesus never lived for His own glory, but that of the Fathers. In John 8, he spoke of this when he said,“I honor my Father andyou dishonor me. I am not seeking glory for myself.” John 8:49-50 When you live for the glory of God you give credit to God for everything. That’s what we are instructed to do in Colossians 3:17: And whateveryou do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. So when your main motive in life is for God to get the glory from your life, you are free to love. Pride can’t get a foothold.
4. Be willing to play second fiddle Leonard Bernstien, the conductor, was once asked, “What’s the hardest instrument to play?” Without a twinge of hesitation, he replied, “Second fiddle. I can always get plenty of first violinists. But to find one who plays second fiddle with as much enthusiasm, or second French horn, or second flute, now that’s a problem. And yet, if no one plays second, we have no harmony.”
Jesus is the ultimate second-fiddle. No task was beneath him. He never felt the need to grab God’s glory. Why? Because that was His nature: Who, being in verynature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man,he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Philippians 2:6-8 Jesus humbled himself to serve us, because that’s what love does. Can you imagine if we all lived like that? May this attitude of Christ grow in us, so that we might destroy our pride and be free to love, just like Jesus.
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