The Story of God: Made For Each Other

Why do we have a longing for a soul mate to share our lives with? Where does this hunger for intimacy come from? It is found in Genesis 2:18-25 where we are going to see the final pattern for life that God gave us so we can enjoy all the good things He created for us to enjoy. And that final pattern for life as God intended for us, is to share life together with a soul mate: a partner in marriage!

Marriage was God’s Idea     The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. Genesis 2:18-20

God gave us the pattern for the good life.   He put His life in us so we could be fully alive. Not simply existing, but living an abundant and rich life with Him and all His creation.   God gave us a good place to live: a place that was safe, nourishing and beautiful.   God intended for us to enjoy life without worry, so He provided food, shelter and meaning. And it was all good. Then God gave us work. Caring for the garden was a work entrusted to Adam. It was a sacred work that was fulfilling and even pleasurable. And God gave us rest: a time to enjoy all God created. And this was good. And lastly, we saw that God gave us freedom. God gave the man everything to enjoy within the boundaries God had set up. God had only one rule. He set up one boundary line not to cross. You can have it all but the tree at the center of the garden. The point was to trust that God knew what was best for him. So the man had a good life. He had a perfect environment: No pollution, no traffic jams, no disease, no crime. He was in a good place, safe with God. He possessed all he could ever want: He had access to anything and everything he ever wanted. No worries about food or clothes, no bills to pay, no taxes to deal with, no budget to keep. He had the best job ever: God had put him in charge of everything. He had dominion over all creation. No need to climb the ladder, he was already on top. He hand no insecurities, no competition, no pressure to perform.

He had everything we think that is important: a great home, all the possessions he needed and satisfying work. On top of all that he had a perfect relationship with God. He walked and talked with God on a daily basis. He had a pure heart and a clear conscience. He had the good life, the dream life! But God knew he lacked one thing: He had no one to share this perfect world with. And according to God this was not a good thing: “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

So here is where we see that marriage is God’s idea. God says, “I know your need. I know your need for companionship because I created you to be like me. I know your need for someone to share your work with and someone to share the wonder of all I have made for you to enjoy. So I will make a helper suitable for him.”

But before God makes the man a soul mate, God does something beautiful. He lets the man discover this need for himself. Let’s look at the text again: Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. God allowed the man to see that all the animals had a mate; a match. God allowed the man to discover that he needed someone like himself to share his home with, his possessions with, and His work with.   He allowed him to discover that he was made for relationship with another like himself.

It was God’s idea to give us a soul mate to share in the work and wonder of this life He gave us to enjoy. And that soul mate is defined right here by God himself: a suitable helper. Let me break this down for us.   First “suitable.” The Hebrew term carries a stronger depth of meaning here. It means “equal and adequate.” Another way of translating this term is “counterpart” or “partner that fits” Someone that matches the majesty of God’s creation of man – an equal counterpart: a match.

The second term is “helper.” The idea is that God is going to make for the man someone who can come alongside and share in the work, share in the enjoyment and share in relationship with God. What endows this word with great weight, is that this word, “helper” is used of God sixteen times in the Old Testament where it communicates how God contributes to what we need.   So, you put these two terms together and what do you get? God is about to create a soul mate to the man who is his counterpart, a companion whose strengths complement him, whose dignity and value matches him. Here God is about to give Adam a perfect fit to him: “a match made in heaven!” So…

God Makes a Soul Mate     So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.  Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. Genesis 2:21-22  Here now is the genius of God’s creating of woman. While the man slept, God reached in a literally removed a portion of the man’s side. He didn’t just remove a rib, but took a handful of flesh and bone, muscles, skin, blood vessels, etc. and then personally fashioned the perfect counterpart for the man. The intimacy and harmony we long for, that both man and woman long for is perfectly captured in this image.

The removal of a piece of the man in order to create the woman implies that from now on neither is complete without the other. The man needs the woman for his wholeness, and the woman needs the man for hers. Each is equal in need in relation to the other. God took a handful from Adam’s side so she’d be the perfect fit for him and so he’d be the perfect fit for her. Here then is the mystery of marriage.  This was God’s design: we were truly made for each other.

And that now is what we see in the text. The man wakes and God brings the woman he has made from his side to Him.  God is officiating the first wedding ceremony. But you’ve got to love how the man responds when he sees the woman.   The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” He names her! He names her first, then he names himself man. But what we often miss is his exclamation when He sees her. He literally says, “Wow!” This is the one! You nailed it God! His response is ecstatic: This is who I’ve been looking for! There is a keen sense of TIME in his exclamation. The waiting is over. Now, this is the One! His heart is fulfilled. God had provided exactly what he was looking for.  Could there be a more fitting announcement of joy? This is what God had in mind when he created marriage. To which we read the narrator’s commentary: That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:23-25

Here now is the picture of intimacy. The closeness we deeply long for: they have united with one another. They have become one flesh. They are naked and unashamed. Here their nakedness is an image of openness and trust. They have nothing to hide. They know each other intimately. This is what God had in mind when he made us for each other. This is why God gave us this beautiful thing we call marriage.

Here’s the only time that one plus one doesn’t equal two. One plus one equals one. Here its not two separate people living two separate lives. Now two people’s lives are interweaved in a perfect tapestry. They unite together as one. They “cleave” together.

For in cleaving together, the two become one flesh. And in cleaving together God gives us one of the strongest words for an intimate and God-honoring relationship. For in cleaving together God gives us a covenant keeping action that creates the kind of union for life where we can begin to know something of the intimacy and bond that God experiences within the Godhead.  It is this concept, this idea of cleaving as a covenant keeping action that has been lost to a great extent today, even among those who say they follow Jesus. And this beautiful covenant keeping dynamic is defined by one word – faithfulness:

First, it speaks of a faithfulness to a vow. It is that old intention that for better or worse, you will not let circumstances or fate determine the future of your relationship. It’s a trusting in the reality that God brought you together and you will lean on Him to help you stay together. Your cleaving is your commitment to trust in God to help you stay faithful to your promises no matter what may come your way.

Second, it speaks of a faithfulness to a calling. Set against a romantic view which sees marriage as only a relationship for personal fulfillment, and against the institutional view which sees marriage as merely social status, what we need to see here is this sense that marriage is a calling to be lived before God, open to the resources of His grace so that our marriage honors the one who brought us together.

Third, it speaks of a faithfulness to a person. A faithfulness not based on function – as so many do to stay together for the sake of appearances; but a faithfulness that involves a positive commitment to serve our mate and seek what is best for him or her no matter the cost or consequences to ourselves. Covenant faithfulness is always about what you bring to the marriage for the other person, not what you are to get. It’s how God loves us. He is for us no matter what. And that’s how we are to strengthen the faithfulness of our union with our spouse. By being for him or her no matter what.

Finally, it speaks of a faithfulness to a relationship. It is our commitment to allow the grace of God to create a marriage that shows the world how Christ loves the Church: A marriage characterized by generous grace, unconditional mercy, longsuffering and the tenderhearted kindness of the God who loves us beyond measure.

Marriage: the final piece of the pattern for life that God gave us to enjoy. Now I realize that there are some here who are not married. There are some here who have had endured hard or difficult marriages. Some have experienced the heartache and hurt of divorce. But that has never been God’s intent for you. God’s original intent was that we might share the work and wonder of this life with a soul mate for life. Now when you look into your spouse’s eyes, remember this: Your marriage was God’s idea. You were made for each other. And God wants to help you keep it that way!